Phone in a box! Vintage telephone in a custom wooden box FOR EXECUTIVES ONLY.

Western Electric American Telecommunications Corporation Deco-Tel Personal Telephone model no. T-B-M-2110-T. The amount of mystery, complexity, and pretentiousness owning this piece of telecom history conveys to your client or corporate nemesis is exceeded only by the number of designations it carries in its name. Simply set this monolith of communication atop your endangered hardwood executive desk you’ll be WINNING PEOPLE instead of just INFLUENCING them… because who really needs FRIENDS? Not you, with the W.E.A.T.Co.De.Tel.Pe.T. in your arsenal of personal power. Keep the lid closed to protect invaluable proprietary I.P. from wandering eye oligarchs. Open the lid to open new, untapped, inexhaustible markets for your newly acquired (fairly won) people to indefinitely and sustainably* exploit. Open the box, and shut it gently to close a merger deal so immense, complex, and implausible that the FTC does SOMETHING... Close it swiftly with a “smack” to smack the FTC back to D.C…